The Banker goes to a rock show

In an attempt to make me more culturally relevant, the Rocker asked me to come out to see his band play. In spite of having to go to work the next day, I decided to be a good trooper and come watch. The following is the running diary of the night.

10:12 – Finding a parking spot on the square in Denton requires 15 minutes of driving in circles (I guess technically in squares) until someone is leaving and you are in the right place at the right time. Epic fail.

10:27 – I was supposed to be at the show at 9pm to pre-party with the band, but Pale Rider was on AMC. Then the end of the Bucket List was on and if Morgan Freeman narrates something then I am forced to watch it. After the Bucket List, Cinemax was airing a movie called Super Ninja Bikini Babes. I decided to skip Super Ninja Bikini Babes to go to the Rocker’s show. I am forced to acknowledge the marketing brilliance of adult filmmakers. It is awfully hard to pass up a show titled Super Ninja Bikini Babes, but I am a true fan of Redefine. (The Rocker’s band)

10:29 – The Rocker asks if I Tivo’d Super Ninja Bikini Babes. For the record, I did not. The only thing sadder than Tivoing soft core pornography on Cinemax is a grown man living in his mom’s basement. Or possibly writing a running diary during a rock show.

10:32 – The opening band’s name should have something to do with man boobs.

10:35 – Redefine groupies….check. Bankers do not have groupies. Advantage Rocker.

10:37 – The lead singer of Man Boobs tells an uninterested audience to do something. They do not. Fail.

10:42 – I have gone upstairs on the loft to write in peace. There is a nasty couch up here that looks like it was a hand me down from the club owner’s cousin. The cousin that was an adult filmmaker in the 70s. I have never been afraid of furniture until now.

10:44 – The Man Boobs have a song called “Panty Dropper” that they are about to perform. Unless it is about the fact that they regularly drop their sister’s delicates when they fold laundry back at their parent’s house then it must be entirely fictional.

10:45 – The song is fictional.

10:47 – I wish this place had a cocktail waitress. If a club has multiple levels then it should have either a bar on each level or cocktail waitresses. This needs to be a city building and zoning ordinance. We need to campaign for this kind of change. YES WE CAN!

10:50 – The Man Boobs forget the name of the next band in an extremely awkward silence that is only broken by a member of the crowd that is casually listening and yells out the next band’s name. The Rocker is mortified because Redefine is the next band.

10:52 – The lead singer of Man Boobs gives the following advice about life. “This next song is about fate. It’s in your hands. Live your life and change your fate!” The inspiring words hit me like a ton of bricks. Until I use my brain and realize the irony of controlling your own fate.

10:54 – The song is so good that I have the free time to look up the definition of fate on my Blackberry.

Fate – an inevitable and often adverse outcome, condition, or end.

The key word of that definition is inevitable.

10:58 – The Man Boobs are done. The Rocker is setting the stage for his turn to rock. Time for me to mingle with the crowd.

11:01 – I went to college with the bartenders at the bar. I consider this moment in time as an incredible advertisement for the virtues of occasional class attendance and devoting as much energy towards scholastic achievement as alcoholic beverage consumption when one is attending college. They are good bartenders though so maybe they have a Brian Flanagan thing going.

11:03 – There is a very weird lady walking around looking for the right guy to buy her enough drinks. There is nothing out of the ordinary about seeing girls like this in a college town, but most of them do not dress like the leading lady in an 80s hair band music video. The long, black coat with the fur collar is a nice touch with the overly curled and teased blond hair.

11:08 – Setting up for their turn on stage proves that all band guys are A/V nerds.

11:10 – The Rocker has the coolest rock girlfriend ever. She is also a banker which I feel gives her the above mentioned coolness. She is the perfect hybrid.

11:15 – I can’t help but smile when I think about how many overdraft fees will be caused by bar tabs and pretty girls at the venue tonight. I think this puts me about two steps away from being the kind of evil banker that forecloses on orphanages and the elderly.

11:18 – The rocker uses two guitars to rock but I only need one pen to bank. The pen is mightier.

11:21 – I just looked at the roof here. By no definition of structural integrity would I consider this to be secure. I am literally risking my personal safety by being here. This along with the fact that I passed up Super Ninja Bikini Babes proves my Redefine fan street cred.

11:22 – I want to set up a merch booth at my bank. People need shirts commemorating my banking skills and service, and I need more of their money.

11:24 – Watching the soundboard guys gives me a new found appreciation for him. His job seems extremely too difficult given the size of the soundboard and the number of knobs and buttons on it. He deserves groupies too.

11:25 – I openly wonder why we don’t have more shows about the dumb things that drunk people do. It seems like these kinds of shows would be wildly entertaining.

11:26 – In response to my drunk show question, I am immediately reminded about MTV by those around me. I was completely wrong about the entertainment value of shows about drunk people being idiots.

11:32 – The Rocker does a lot of hair flipping. If there was a talent scout from Pantene or L’Oreal then he would be sponsored in a heartbeat.

11:34 – I am amazed at people that can write original music. The talent it takes to make sound that people will like and lyrics they will identify with is insane.

11:35 – Why are more recorders not used in bands? We all know how to play them. It seems like learning Hot Cross Buns in the 2nd grade is the instrument’s peak.

11:37 – A bearded man in a Hawaiian shirt sits down and is consumed by the mystery couch. The properties of this couch may be of interest to both the Center for Disease Control and Prevention and Stephen Hawking.

11:40 – Someone just bought a shot for the Rocker. This has never happened to me at work. Advantage Rocker.

11:48 – Where on the classiness scale do you place the girl that makes out along the railing of the loft of a smoky bar in Denton, TX with a guy in cargo shorts?

11:51 – The girl on the railing is the weird lady from earlier. Was it the fur collar or the heels that put her Mr. Right Now over the top? Had they made out on the mystery couch my head may have exploded.

12:00 – The Rocker just apologized for something. Rock means never saying you are sorry for anything.

12:01 – The best thing about Redefine, other than the music and the Rocker’s hair, is that the Broski count in the audience is zero. This is a sign of quality music.

12:03 – The audience is fighting one another. I am told this is another sign of quality music.

12:05 – I’m disappointed that Redefine does not have a song about women’s undergarments and the effect of gravity upon said undergarments. They have a lot to learn from Man Boobs.

12:07 – In spite of my concern, I am told that the constipated face that the Rocker is making is a natural and good “rock face”. WebMD begs to differ.

12:15 – The show is over and I am heading home for the night. It was a good show and I learned a lot of interesting things. I mention that the Rocker should come to the bank tomorrow and do a running diary of me at work. He slurs out some kind of response that I think meant that the bank would be closed for the day before he would be awake. The life of a rocker…

- The Banker

RE: Sean Avery's Suspension - Restriction of Free Speech, NHL Publicity Stunt, or Justified Offense?

I am a lifelong Dallas Stars fan. I was happy when the Stars signed Sean Avery because he is a talented hockey player. I thought that the Stars had the leadership on the team from the coach and the veteran players to be able to handle Sean Avery. I was wrong. The team that did very well last year is playing like a different team this year, and the most obvious change is the addition of a player with a cancerous attitude. For that reason alone I would fire him.

As for the remarks that Sean Avery made. As previously discussed, I can not stand disrespect. It is my number one irritant. Sean Avery was extremely disrespectful to his ex-girlfriend and Dion Phaneuf. This is not what I would consider trash-talking. Trash-talking is saying that Dion Phaneuf is a weak player or that he has the first name of a Hannah Montana fan. Delving into the personal relationship of a player and his girlfriend is the same reprehensible disrespect as mocking the pregnancy of a Vice-Presidential candidate's 17-year old daughter. I feel a strong need to put a crowbar in between something like this and trash-talking. I played sports my whole life. I know that in the heat of competition that people talk about mom's, wives, girlfriends, and about anything that can be imagined. In my opinion, there is a difference between two athletes yelling these things during competition and one athlete bringing it up to the media outside of competition. It is similar to the differences between slander and satire. Sean Avery was not talking trash, he was disrespecting two people by discussing their personal relationship with the media.

As for the question of where we draw the line when it comes to people speaking their mind freely, that line is where Sean Avery signed his name to play for the Dallas Stars and the National Hockey League. Free speech is about the government preventing you from speaking your mind, but it has nothing to do with your employer. If one of the people that works in my bank says something that I feel is detrimental to my business, then I will punish them. Sean Avery is employed by the NHL and the Stars, they can terminate his employment as per his contract. And that is that. The NHL felt that Sean Avery's statement was bad for the image of the league and outside the realm of behavior they are willing to accept, so they punished him. Try telling the customers of the business that you work for that another employee enjoys picking up your "sloppy seconds", let some of the customers complain to your boss about what you said, and see what happens.

I think the indefinite suspension was a rare smart move by the NHL front office. They did not know how to punish Avery (mostly because they didn't know exactly how upset their sponsors would be) so they suspended him indefintely and set a date to review the suspension. So basically, they have for sure suspended him for 2 games (one of which was the Flames game he would have been killed in, which would have been bad for the league image) and gave themselves enough time to gauge the reaction to the comments so they could set an appropriate punishment. This was a smart move. Now the league can talk to Avery and hand out a punishment in accordance to how the situation has played out over the last couple of days.

I do agree entirely with the Rocker that as a society, Americans have become far too sensitive to things. Political correctness is a violation of our freedom of speech. While Avery can say whatever he wants, as long as he does not work for the NHL, the average American can not escape the prosecution of political correctness without removing himself from the society completely. I do think it is important that we act with respect for one another, but we must also keep the expectation of respect within reason. I say Merry Christmas because I celebrate Christmas, not because I am disrespecting the other holidays (or people that do not celebrate at all). But the politically correct thing to say is Happy Holidays and in some cases I would be chastised for saying Merry Christmas. That is a violation of my freedom to exercise my faith and express myself by select members of society.

Luckily, politically correct on this blog only means that you vote Republican, which is the correct thing to do politically.

-The Banker-

Uniting the States of America

The election is over. Barack Obama is our President-elect. Congratulations to Obama and all of his supports for a fantastic campaign, and for helping to make American history. America having its first African-American president is a source of pride as well as a testament to the progress we have made as a nation. In forty years, we have gone from African-Americans being unable to eat at certain restaurants to having an African-American as the leader of the free world. Not enough can be said about the millions of men and women that have helped pave the way for the progress that has been made and I can not begin to understand the joy being felt by African-Americans.

For the millions of Americans that did not vote for Obama, it is now time to respect the democratic process that we love and cherish as Americans. It is time to support our new president and do everything in our power to help him be the best president that he can be. That does not mean blindly following him, but it does mean giving him the respect owed to the president. No one should oppose Obama because he is a democrat. No one should hope that Obama fails for political or personal reasons. All Americans need to be united around our leader and support him in making our nation a better place.

However, that does not mean that Obama is above criticism. If an American disagrees with the decisions or the policies of Obama, then it is that person's right to voice the opposition. As long as the opposition is done with respect. For example, I am opposed to the idea of another stimulus package, so I will oppose Obama in instituting another stimulus package. I am not opposing Obama, I am opposing his policy and decision.

(On a side note, people need to stop being so disrespectful to President Bush. You can disagree with someone without being disrespectful. History will be the judge of his presidency, there is no need to heap insults on the man that has served our nation for the last eight years. The American people have voted in new leadership. Piling disdain on the Bush administration is in no way constructive for our country and makes those insulting him look like children ganging up to pick on the unpopular kid.)

As far as unity is concerned, our country would be better off if our political parties could work together. Unfortunately, neither party is willing to make the first step with any conviction. Speeches are words, and words can lie. Actions are different. One of the parties needs to act in a bipartisan manner instead of just criticize the other party for not being bipartisan. A huge step in the right direction would be for Americans to stop saying idiotic things like "I hate Nancy Pelosi" or "Sarah Palin is stupid". Until Americans get over making politics about people instead of making politics about ideas, then we aren't going to get any unity.

At this point, it would make the most sense for Republicans to make this gesture. The GOP is out of power and needs to make changes in order to change that. The GOP needs to spend the next two years working with Democrats to solve problems. The GOP needs to spend the next two years making its message about the issues and not the individuals in the Democratic party. The GOP needs to work with Democrats on fixing the economy, reforming the tax code, securing energy independence, and defeating terrorists. Bipartisan solutions that have the public in mind are the solutions that stand the test of time. Partisan solutions that are put in place in spite of the other party die as soon as power changes. We need our representatives to put common support behind the solutions for our nation. Americans are entitled to a government that is solution driven, not power driven.

People can rally around a common cause or a vision, as long as they don't hate each other.

-The Banker-

Olympic Thoughts of the Banker

• I love the Olympics. Not only do I like to root for my home nation, but I legitimately enjoy watching all of the different sports that I rarely get a chance to see.

• The Olympics always remind me that the average person in any nation around the world is pretty similar at their core. Athletes from Russia, Iran, China, and a score of other countries have no problem hanging out with our American athletes. It reminds me that Americans don't have problems with Iranians, we have problems with the leaders and extremists of Iran. I assume that Iranians feel the same way.

• I love the sense of patriotism that the Olympics bring out. It is a good sense of nationalism because it is devoid of the typical negativity that accompanies nationalism. Everyone is proud of their country, their home, without disliking someone else's home. It is also great because the Olympics gives us a good reason to rally around the flag. People, I believe, are always proud of their country (unless they're Michelle Obama) but are not always outwardly expressing that pride. Normally we are only motivated to outwardly express our patriotism after a tragedy or during a war. The Olympics give us a positive reason to be loud and proud flag waivers.

• I wish they would institute an age limit for girls gymnastics. I have a problem watching 16 year old girls put on a stage like that. I watch them do these amazing things, and think they are amazing athletes, but I get the feeling that they missed out on being kids. I don't like hearing Natasha Liukin's dad say her whole life has been in preparation for Olympic gold. Her whole life should have been in preparation for the rest of her life. Supporting your kid's interests is great and I'm definitely going to have my kids in sports because it does teach you life skills, but pushing your kid, or letting your kid, into revolving their lives around a sport is wrong. I want to see those girls compete when they are in their 20s so they have had to make the personal choice to continue to chase their dream as adults. Not kids having mom and dad shuttle them to the gym every morning at the age of 5. And those are just the American parents. I don't want to imagine what it is like to be "chosen" as an Olympic gymnast in China or the old eastern bloc.

• I'm glad Kobe Bryant put Cris Collinsworth in his place for questioning whether or not it is "cool" to be proud of America. I liked Cris Collinsworth as an analyst before that question. Now, I am glad that we spell our first names differently.

• It is amazing how amazing you can make the Olympics when you don't have worker's rights and labor is cheaper than clean air. It will be interesting to see the differences between this Olympics and London's.

• Michael Phelps is amazing and the fact that he plans on swimming in the next games makes me respect him even more.

• The Redeem Team did more to boost the image of the NBA than anything David Stern can sell. I actually like Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade, and Carmelo Anthony a little more now. Watching those guys play like they did for nothing more than pride really humanizes them. The NBA turns these guys into a one man business, the Olympics make them American men.

• I have a problem with athletes living and training in America and then playing for other nations in the Olympics. They come here and use our freedoms and resources, then decide to compete for their nation of birth. I feel they need to show respect to the country that enables them to be the world class athletes they are by wearing our colors when they compete.

• Watching the opening ceremonies highlighted why America is such a successful and wonderful place. Diversity. The athletes from China all looked similar, the athletes from Russia all looked similar, etc. But our athletes are diverse. We are diverse and it makes us great.

An introduction, just a typical weekend (Rocker Edition)

There's no certain guarantee in life on what causes people to be friends. That's just a no-brainer. You can't ever figure everything out man, I'm sure of that. And with that statement...welcome to this blog.

Let's start with introductions, shall we? We are two dudes, both named Chris. Yes, that's right...not in the "my name is Daryl, this is my other brother Daryl" sort of way, just in the sense that we both have the most radical name in the world (yes, I said "radical" pal, you read it right). Our professions take us to two different worlds, hence the name - the rocker and the banker. I (Chris the rocker), am exactly what you would expect. Long hair, play in a band, and am out there playing shows and partying weekly. It's what I do, and I plan on making the most out of it. There's nothing quite like the art of expression through music. It's what keeps everything in this world turning for me.

This weekend in particular was great. Played a show...HUGE crowd. I was out there, rocking out, hair flying, signing autographs, shots afterward (Patron, whiskey, patron, can i get a beer? Where's my beer?) - you know the drill. Now, banker Chris was cool enough to come out, knock back a brew with me and check out the show. Later on in the evening, he peaced out, I kept partying. That's just the way we roll. Went to bed at 6 am, spoke to him the next day - while I was going to bed, he was getting up already. Even better, just to put it in perspective - while I was finally up getting some pizza in my system, he was already out on the golf course.

Like I said - that's just how we roll. Yes, maybe the most unlikely of friends. But, there's a lot of opinion and attitudes going on between us that really make us get along. So, in this cyber-savvy day and age, what's cooler than blogging about it?

Read up and enjoy, guys and gals.

-The Rocker